C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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