Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize