BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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