Me too!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
