Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
