Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
