well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
