he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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