9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
