i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
