i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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