So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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