Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
