worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
