evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
People in love make me want to vomit
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
