I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
