Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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