haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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