Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
do nipples grow back?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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