Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
