Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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