I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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