well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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