I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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