the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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