vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize