Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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