I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
