Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
