I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
