How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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