Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
