You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
