how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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