Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ladies don't puke and tell
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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