There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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