He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize