He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He better not be in your backpack
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
