You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
