Umm I'm too high to move.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize