you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
