Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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