Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
