so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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