Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
