Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
