I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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