Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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