Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
