if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
