I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yo dont text me then not text me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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