best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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