either way he was missing a nipple.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The air was thick with penises
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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