I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love having hate sex.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
