too bad you live with your parents still
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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