she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
