Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
