I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
