Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
