I feel great
I just peed on a car
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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