it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
